Wild Weekend survival guide

We’ve all had those weekend benders (every weekend). Friday night blends into Saturday

morning, which soon becomes Saturday night, and somehow you end up waking up drunk on Sunday morning with no clue where you are. They are wild, they are fun, and they are definitely worth the feeling of regret when your friends remind you of who you hooked up with. But remember- if you’re going in for a weekend bender you have to commit. To help with this commitment here’s a little survival guide I’ve painfully learnt from my very own wild weekends.

• Preparation is key: If you know a weekend bender is ahead of you make sure you do your prep. The alcohol is fully stocked- 1L of vodka for the whole weekend? R U OK? You have enough mixers to last you and the 20 people that will be stealing your drink because they’ve conveniently ‘forgot’ theirs. But most importantly you have that banging party playlist equipped with the latest chart hits as well as the old classics (that’s you MC Hammer).

• Pre-pack: My worst enemy is getting my clutch ready. Its gone 10 and I’ve just finished my hair, I’ve been drinking since 8 when I first started getting ready, and now I’m half cut and can barely see the floor. Yet I have to scramble leglessly around my room in search of money, ID, lipstick, plasters, etc. Note to self: take my own advice and pre-pack!

• Lend you’re drink to no one: We’ve all fallen victim to sympathising with someone who only bought a bottle of wine (amateurs) and is gasping for a drink. So like the good little Christian you are you allow them a vodka- NO! You’re seshing for a weekend, you don’t have the money to spend on more drink, and that £14.50 Tesco’s own vodka was bought by you, for you. No freebies. Soz about it.

• Heel gate: You can’t wear heels. End of. That first Friday night when you’re wearing your favourite dress and just need a pair of 4 inches to make those legs look killer, stop. Your feet may feel fine now, but in a mere 3 hours you’ll be on the floor of the nightclub, and not in a good ‘I’ve just successfully slut dropped’ way. Your feet will kill, it will ruin you’re night, and you’ll end up not wanting to go out on Saturday because you’re toes are numb and you think you need to go to A&E. #HeelGate.

• Tactics: There may be a whole stigma around being sick when you’re drunk meaning it’s time to go home, but I take the opposite view. If you are feeling sick at any time during the weekend simply tactical chunder. There’s nothing wrong with making yourself sick in the name of the sesh.

So there are just five little tips for how to conquer those wild weekends. Happy seshing.