13 things 13 reasons taught me

It’s safe to say that if you haven’t heard about 13 reasons yet you haven’t really been living in 2017. It’s been one of the most controversial Netflix series to date, dealing with teen suicide, rape, friendship, love, loss, and many topics I’m sure adults never even realised 21st century teens dealt with. So, of course I would like to put my own opinion out there and tell you the 13 things that I have learnt from watching 13 reasons.

1. Friendship is key: No matter what your age you always need friends. Everyone needs to have at least one person who they feel like they can tell everything to. Hannah thought she had many different friends- Clay, Jessica, Alex, but she felt abandoned by them all in some way, and perhaps if they hadn’t made her feel alone than she wouldn’t have been driven to suicide.

2. Sexuality is still an issue: The closer it gets to the series drawing to a close the more anxious the students on the tapes become about being exposed for what they did to Hannah. The majority of the students on the tapes don’t want to be exposed for selfish reasons, besides Jessica who is really the only character who has a legitimate reason to be concerned. However the student who is most worrying in this situation is Courtney, who is so terrified that the tapes will get out and expose her sexuality that she would rather let the parents who are victims of a teen suicide suffer through a court case that they are unlikely to win without them. This, to me, proves that, although the 21st century world has progressed massively in terms of accepting sexuality, it is still a major issue that needs to be addressed.

3. What one person takes as a compliment another will take as an insult: Of course this goes back to the list. A seemingly harmless and irrelevant ranking of the best and worst qualities in a girl, and perhaps being named as having the best ass would be a huge compliment to some people. But what one person sees as a compliment and something to be proud of another will take as an insult. Perhaps it wasn’t so much being named as having the best ass that worried Hannah, but it was the thought of being seen as nothing more than a sexual object. Either way her feelings towards the list were obvious and not one person attempted to help her or destroy the list before she was propelled to her preventable death.

4. Relationships always come with a price: 13 reasons explores many different relationships in many different forms- romantic, platonic, unrequited, parent/child, and each relationship has one thing in common- they all come with a price. Each relationship that is explored shows the highlights, for example the joy between Clay and Hannah when they are together, whilst showing the price that the relationship comes at, Hannah and Clay may be happy together but they are also lying to one another to save themselves the humiliation of being rejected. Relationships may be good for a while but there is always something that will jeopardise them.

5. Adults can be both the problem and the solution: It’s most definitely part of teenage culture to not want to interact with adults any more than necessary. You want independence and to be your own person without having to deal with what the adults around you think. However, in Hannah’s case, maybe if she would have opened up to her parents about her issues she could have saved herself. That being said, when she did open up to an adult, Mr Porter, his ‘advise’ only aided in her determination to end her life. Perhaps she never had any intentions of saving herself so the help of adults wiser than herself wouldn’t have helped at all. Sometimes though the help of adults can rationalise your irrational thoughts.

6. Life is too short to hide your emotions: Perhaps one of the most important lessons that 13 reasons has taught me is that life is just too short to hide your emotions from people. Maybe if Clay had told Hannah, or vice versa, that they were in love than it would have given Hannah the reassurance that she was wanted and would have saved her life. Whether you are annoyed with someone, in love with them, or just happy to have them in your life sharing your emotions, as hard as it may be sometimes, is worth the potential humiliation if it can give you peace of mind.

7. Secrets are sometimes best told: So maybe secrets are called secrets because no one should know them. But maybe secrets need to be told to benefit the people around us no matter how hard the situation may be. Tony wanted to honour Hannah’s wishes and keep the tapes a secret from her parents, letting only the people on the tapes hear them, however, in the last episode, watching her parents listen to the tapes, and seeing almost the relief at hearing their daughter’s voice again, makes me think some secrets are best told.

8. One person can change everything- to an extent: For Hannah Clay was the most constant person in her life other than her parents. For the most part of the show, even though we already know she does kill herself, there are glimmers of hope for the pair when it seems like Clay may be able to help her out of her depression. However, because of their inability to admit their love for one another, their relationship, even as friends, never truly blooms. One person can change your whole perception on a situation, whatever that may be, however, if you are unwilling to completely commit to them and your emotions, there is only so much they can do to help, and that’s what Clay and Hannah have taught me.

9. Sometimes it’s hard to look past school: I don’t think there is one person who has never felt that school is everything and there is no getting past it. Being in school is everything when you are a teenager. It’s where you are educated, it’s where you meet the majority of your friends, and it’s where you begin to learn about yourself and the person you will become. It can be one of the most amazing experiences you will ever have, as long as your experiences are mostly positive. So many teenagers suffer from bullying at school which makes them believe that there is nothing past it. It makes them believe that there is no life past what they are experiencing now. And sometimes it’s hard to think that your school life is only part of who you are and that there is so much more to come after it.

10. Never jump to conclusions: As humans we are judgmental animals. We all suffer from immediately judging people as soon as we see them- whether that is what they look like, the things they say, or their opinions on certain subject matters. However, it’s important to realise that, although it is natural to judge people, you should never jump to conclusions about them. No matter if it’s something as small as someone who is covered in tattoos that you may think is a thug, or if someone says that they are suffering from anxiety who you may think just wants attention, you should never jump to conclusions. Maybe if Mr Porter hadn’t of had the attitude that Hannah’s rape was justified than she would never have killed herself.

11. Being a teenager is hard: Your teenage years are both the most fun you will probably ever have as well as the toughest time you will ever experience. It’s a time where you make friends who you will either love for the rest of your life, or leave as soon as you leave school. It’s when you learn about the world by doing reckless and stupid things that seem so logical at the time but later on are just stupid. And it’s the time where you develop the person you are and want to become. It’s scary but exciting at the same time. But its irrevocably hard. You’re body changes in ways that you would never predict, and you discover all of these new emotions you don’t know how to deal with. You’re under a tremendous amount of stress to impress everyone around you and propel yourself into a career that will set you up for the future. Under it all you are still just trying to figure out how life works and how to get through it, which is what makes it ridiculously difficult when everyone around you seems to have their shit together. The most important thing to remember as a teenager is that, no matter how it may seem, nobody has their shit together, and they probably never will.

12. There is more than one definition of rape: Besides Hannah’s suicide one of the most important topics to come out of 13 reasons is the definition of rape. A subject that, although massively important, is still treated as a taboo and something you just don’t discuss. Both Hannah and Jessica experience rape and both characters are reluctant to admit to themselves and those around them that it happened. When Hannah finally admits it in the last episode to Mr Porter she is led to believe that it was consented because she didn’t push him away or out rightly say no. The important message here is that rape comes in many different forms and shouldn’t be something we are hesitant to discuss. If someone forcefully has sex with you without your consent it is rape and you need to tell someone.

13. Teen suicide is something we should be talking about: 13 reasons has come under a lot of controversy regarding showing Hannah’s suicide. It is graphic and it is uncomfortable to watch, but it needs to be seen. Teenage suicide is a massive issue around the world, and each year the number of teens taking their own lives is growing. The great thing about this TV show is, although it’s heart-breaking to watch, it shows the harsh reality of teenage life. It shows the things that we are scared to admit happen, but urges us to discuss them no matter how hard it may be. We should be talking about these controversial topics and should be finding ways to help those who are in danger of harming themselves.

So there are 13 things that I learnt from 13 Reasons Why. What did you think about the show and what are some of things that you have learnt from it?